Reading level: Young adult
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Children's Publishing
Pub date: October 13, 2009
Page count: 291
My rating: 1/5 stars
Seriously? Is this all you have to do to get published these days? Take the Twilight plot, plug in a few different names, use fallen angels instead of vampires, and BAM, a best seller? What am I thinking, wasting my time going to an honest 8-5 job every day??? I'm serious. You don't even have to change the personalities of the main characters. Nora = Bella (but even less interesting). Edward = Patch (but even less complex).
Nora and Bella are both Mary Sue types. The kind of utterly plain, boring people that millions of girls just like them out there (myself included) would really like to believe could actually become wrapped in the middle of a fairy tale, the heart throb of a mysterious and brooding Prince Charming, the central character in an epic saga.
Wake up, girlies, it's not happening. Worse yet, it's not even interesting to read about in fiction.
I'm not saying the protagonist in this type of story has to be a beautiful prom queen. It's okay if she's a bit anti-establishment, if she has a certain underdeveloped natural charm and doesn't need makeup, if she's in the marching band. But for godsake, she needs to have SOMETHING. A sense of humor? A passion for deep sea fishing? Whatever. Something interesting, some defining characteristic to make us understand why in the world she is the main character in a book series. To make us care enough to finish the book, for the love of god (which I did NOT manage here, I will admit fully. I made it halfway through, and even that was a real challenge).
Nora of hush, hush has nothing going for her. Her narrative is literally like reading the diary of a constipated frontal lobotomy patient (without the exciting drama of the lobotomy ordeal--or even the constipation). Here's an example of a typical Nora monologue (of my own rendering):
I was walking down the hall thinking about Patch. I hate Patch, he's such a creep. He's just not safe! Suddenly an asteroid crashed through the roof, and looking over I saw Patch standing next to me. In that moment, it didn't matter that an asteroid was about to crush my fat head into a bloody mass of mangled flesh and brains. Because Patch was there and despite everything, I felt safe and comforted. I wanted him to touch me, mmmm.
Shut up, Nora, no one gives a crap, and let's be serious, if fallen angels really did exist, they wouldn't waste their time on boring Mary Sues like yourself.
At least Twilight was kind of the first of its kind. Hush hush is a pathetic imitation...an imitation of something that wasn't too great in the first place. I can't wait to give away my copy in my next book giveaway.
By the way, the current giveaway ends on Friday. So hurry up and enter!
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